Deciphering Complex New Testament Texts about Women Part Six: 1 Peter 3
Giovanni Paolo Rosetti’s 1621 The Blood of the Martyrs from the Basilica di Santa Pudenziana in Rome. This painting features the sisters Pudenziana and Prassedes, known as “bone collectors” for giving proper care and burial to the bodies of Christian martyrs during periods of persecution at great personal risk.
Image source: Shala Graham, Visual Museum of Women in Christianity
1 Peter 3
At last, the last of the “household codes” – this time, from Peter rather than Paul. (For the other two “household codes” in the New Testament, see my articles on Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3.)
The Context of 1 Peter
Let’s begin at the beginning – to whom does Peter address this letter?
“Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood:
Grace and peace be yours in abundance” (1 Peter 1:1-2).[1]
Peter speaks to “scattered” Christ followers, “exiles.” This does not promote an image of these Christ-followers living in majority-Christian regions. The rest of Peter’s first letter underscores that these Christ followers live in a pagan Greco-Roman society (for example, 1 Peter 2:11-12). The suffering of God’s people within this society pervades the letter (for example, 1 Peter 4:12-19). Perhaps they faced persecution for their beliefs. Remember that Christian persecutions and executions occurred periodically and regionally until 313 CE.
Broader Historical Context
In a Greco-Roman household, the “head of household,” whoever that was, typically determined the religious beliefs of the entire household. We see this time and again in Scripture as the Christian message spread throughout the Roman Empire in the first century. For example, upon meeting the apostle Paul, Lydia, clearly the head of her household, responds by being baptized and having her entire household baptized (Acts 16:14-15). At this time, a household would include any family members, servants, and the enslaved. Often, heads of a household were male, but as we see with Lydia, that was not the rule. Even in this patriarchal society, some wealthy women owned property and acted as the head of their household.[2]
We must read 1 Peter through the lens of Peter speaking to scattered communities of Christians throughout the regions he lists in the opening of his letter. We must also understand that Roman wives were expected to submit to their husbands and follow the religious beliefs of their husbands.[3] For a wife to choose to follow Christ when her husband did not would be shocking, maybe even dangerous. The Romans believed that household order kept society itself intact. Not abiding by these social rules was considered subversive to the state.
1 Peter 3:1-7, NIV
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
First Things First
Peter begins with “in the same way,” so we must go back a chapter to see what he’s referencing. Before addressing wives, Peter directly addresses the enslaved, encouraging them as they suffer under human enslavers. Peter could not free them from harsh “masters,” but he could encourage them to live well, doing good even as they suffered. Dr. Shively Smith points out that Peter talks about masters, but not to masters, indicating that
“Masters are not a part of this particular Christian membership conglomerate, and there is no way for the letter writer to intervene or respond directly to masters who treat Christian servants with kindness or malevolence. Christians are left, in some respects, to the luck of the draw regarding which master they are forced to serve.”[4]
Peter does tell the enslaved to “in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh” (1 Peter 2:18). This series of verses addressing the enslaved is a tough pill to swallow. We want Peter to tell the enslaved to run away and be free. We want to see Peter telling Christians to rise up and abolish slavery as an institution.
The scope of this article is about wives and husbands, so I will not spend much more time on the verses addressing slavery. I will note that while I wish Peter had outright condemned the institution of Greco-Roman slavery, he had little power to do anything but encourage the enslaved. As it relates to slavery, I will leave you with the words of Dr. Smith:
“When Christian servants suffer, it is a reflection of the unethical and warped character of the master’s only. This move separates 1 Peter from the conventions of the wider social world because its hierarchical rehearsal is actually an indictment against the master class, who would sanction its arrangement in the first place, not the servants who find themselves subject to it.”[5]
If we go even further back in the passage, we see Peter addressing all believers in this way:
“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:13-17).
In a society hostile to social equality and to the Christian message, Peter encourages Christ’s followers to endure. They are to respect the governmental and social authorities, whether it’s the emperor or the husband. This seems to uphold Greco-Roman ideals of the household and society. Yet within that structure, they are to live as free people, doing good as God wills them to do. For all Christ’s followers, their ultimate authority is God, to whom they owe true obedience. He is not a harsh master, but the “Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:25), a God who withholds nothing from us, who created us, who sees us, who loves us. Every one of us. And as followers of this God, we are to respect others, love others, and honor figures in authority. (Remember, they are not living in a democracy, but a dictatorship. They had no say in their leader and were virtually powerless against the Roman Empire. Disrespecting the emperor was a real quick way to die.)
A Missional Perspective
Into this context, Peter tells wives, especially those married to non-Christ-following husbands, to submit themselves to their husbands “so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives” (3:1-2). This is a missional approach to marriage wherein wives can allow their husbands to learn about Christ through their respectful, Greco-Roman society-honoring actions. To not do so would be dangerous for the wife. According to Greco-Roman society, she was expected to follow the gods of her husband. She was not supposed to choose her own God. Within this context, the wife is to live a life that honors God, one of reverence for God.
Who Cares What She Wears?
Why is Peter suddenly the clothes police in 3:3-4? Although to our modern ears this might feel like a targeted attack on women, implying they care more about pretty clothes than men do, what Peter says is actually pro-woman for the time. A woman’s worth is not in riches or looking fancy or in her outer beauty. No, her worth is found in her “inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (3:4).
Unfortunately, this verse has been used in our time to say women should be marked by gentleness and quietness in a way not required of men. That’s ridiculous.
Paul tells us the Fruit of the Spirit for all believers is “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23a, bolding mine). Women are not told to be gentler than men.
What about quiet? The word Peter uses in Greek is hēsuchios. The only other occurrence of this word in the New Testament is when Paul says to all believers in Timothy’s church: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (1 Timothy 2:1-2, bolding mine). It’s about not drawing unwanted, negative attention. It’s not about women being silent little robots, worshipping the words of men as though these men were Christ Himself. Please. I have no patience for this blatant sexism.
Christian wives, filled with the Holy Spirit, ought to display the Fruit of the Spirit, such as gentleness and peace, as would be expected of all Christ-followers. A wife ought to find her worth in her beautiful inner self, valued greatly by God.
What About Sarah?
Peter continues:
“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” (3:5-6).
Here, Peter brings Christ-following wives into the family of believers, who trace their historical faith through the pages of Scripture. Sarah is the original matriarch of God’s promise to make her descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and to bring forth a blessing to all nations in the Son born to Mary of Nazareth. The wives Peter addresses receive God’s promise as they live out their faith in Christ within a hostile society, perhaps even a hostile home. To survive, they must submit themselves to their husbands, as expected of a Roman wife. But they are not told to abandon their faith. This is a subversive faith contrary to social rules. It is a peaceful subversion. She may hold on to what she holds most dear, as did her ancestors of the faith, even within the patriarchal society in which she lives.
But hold on now, when did Sarah call Abraham her “lord”? In Genesis 18, an elderly, post-menopausal Sarah overhears that she will bear a son.
“Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, ‘After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?’” (Genesis 18:11-12).
For the record, Abraham laughed too. Sarah isn’t exactly bowing down to Abraham and calling him “lord” in this passage. A lot is going on in this passage, but Sarah’s obedience to Abraham is not one of those things.
So, where does Sarah obey Abraham? Dr. Karen Jobes points out that “Gen.12:13 is perhaps the passage of greater relevance, for it is a key place where Sarah implicitly obeys Abraham by cooperating with his deceptive ruse in Pharoah’s court.”[6] We might also refer to Genesis 20, where almost the exact same situation happens again. (By the way, the “ruse” refers to Abraham’s disgusting decision to preserve his own safety by sacrificing Sarah to potentially be used sexually by a man in power while traveling through a foreign land. He does this twice.) However, I am unconvinced that Sarah “obeys” Abraham in both instances, as the language of both passages indicates that the powerful men “took” Sarah. It’s not like she walked up to powerful men and said, “Let me come home with you.” Thus, interpreting either of these passages as Sarah “obeying” Abraham gives me the ick. Rather, this reference to Sarah obeying Abraham probably comes from Jewish tradition rather than the Hebrew Bible.[7]
It's interesting to note that Abraham is the one who “obeys” Sarah in Genesis, not once, but three times; Dr. Jobes notes this happening in Genesis 16:2 and 6 and 21:12.[8]
Sarah tells Abraham to use Hagar’s body to produce a son (obviously not acceptable).
“You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me” (Genesis 16:5). Abraham responds by saying Sarah can do whatever she wants with Hagar. Sarah harshly mistreats Hagar (also obviously not acceptable).
At one point, God tells Abraham to “Listen to whatever Sarah tells you” (21:12). It’s a situational command, but one in which God tells a husband to do what his wife says.
Despite Sarah’s terrible choices, she is remembered by her descendants as a faithful woman. Dr. Shively Smith contributes an excellent analysis of 1 Peter 3:5-6, which I will quote at length:
“Although it identifies Sarah’s habit of referring to Abraham as ‘Lord,’ the letter does not tell Christian wives to imitate that specific action. Rather, 1 Peter tells them to be doers of good and to keep fear in the proper perspective as fear of God (1 Pet 2:17) and not fear of their fellow human being (1 Pet 3:14). The effect is that 1 Peter flattens the patriarchal power structure in the Christian household. A woman’s devotion to God is measured not by a subordinating posture of submission to her husband, but by the deeds of good and honor she does; her devotion to her Christian husband is the product of the honor and good her husband extends to her. Thus, 1 Peter’s characterization of Christian wives as ‘children of Sarah’ echoes its characterization of addressees as ‘children of obedience’ in 1:14. Both husband and wife are accountable to the same authority, God the Father.”[9]
Christian wives join with their ancestral sisters in the faith. They are Sarah’s daughters, not by obeying their husbands and calling them “lord,” but by doing what is right. Their good deeds and faithfulness to Christ are what matter.
Onto the Husbands
Still with me, friends?
Let’s move on to Peter’s words to husbands:
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).
There it is again: “in the same way.” So again, Peter connects his instructions to the preceding thought. We might expect some reference to husbands also submitting themselves to their wives. Alas, we do not see that here. That would be radical, borderline insane language for the time. Instead, Peter hides the mutual submission in Christian language. Let’s parse it out.
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner…” What’s with this talk of being the “weaker partner”? Certainly, Greco-Roman society viewed women as actually weaker than men, physically and intellectually.[10] However, Dr. Janette H. Ok points out that Peter’s words “reflects a concern with the proper treatment and view of women, who are the more socially vulnerable but not spiritually inferior members of God’s household.”[11] Peter doesn’t believe women are inferior to men. Peter knows they’re more vulnerable in the society in which they live, and he expects husbands to be respectful of their wives, not abusing their societally-given power.
“…and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life..” You guys. Here it is! Wives are heirs alongside husbands of God’s gracious gift! This is the way God reorders things. Society gives husbands power. God subverts the power structures. In God’s kingdom, all equally receive God’s gifts. Both are equally adopted into the family of God. In the words of Dr. Smith, “The letter further underscores the equality of wives and husbands in God’s household (1 Pet 4:17) by identifying both husbands and wives as heavenly coheirs with Christ (1 Pet 1:4), God’s possession (1 Pet 2:9), and God’s children (1 Pet 1:17; 2:10) with no distinctions based on gender or social roles.”[12]
“…so that nothing will hinder your prayers…” A husband’s failure to treat his wife in this way is a serious offense to God. It will result in a hindering of the husband’s prayers.
This is the picture of mutual submission, echoing what we see in Ephesians 5. Wives submit themselves to their husbands, living a life honoring God. Husbands lay down their social power to show honor to their wives, submitting themselves willingly in consideration of their wives. The two are co-heirs with Christ. One is not the heir while the other is set aside.
I’m reminded of Galatians 3:26-29:
“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”
Breakdown of 1 Peter 3:1-7 - Verse & Possible Meaning
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
This is a missional approach to marriage wherein Christian wives can allow their non-Christian husbands to learn about Christ through their respectful, Greco-Roman society-honoring actions.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Christian wives, filled with the Holy Spirit, ought to display the Fruit of the Spirit, such as gentleness and peace. A wife ought to find her worth in her beautiful inner self, valued greatly by God. Christian wives do not find their worth in what Greco-Roman society values: fancy clothes and looking pretty.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Christian wives join with their ancestral sisters in the faith. They are Sarah’s daughters, not by obeying their husbands and calling them “lord,” but by doing what is right. Their good deeds and faithfulness to Christ are what matter.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Society generally positioned women below men, which Peter so charmingly phrases as “weaker partner,” pointing to her social vulnerability. Husbands are to honor their wives as co-heirs with Christ. There is no social hierarchy based on gender in the kingdom of God. Christian couples mutually submit themselves to one another in love, setting aside their own selfishness.
References & Notes
[1] All Scriptural quotations in this article come from the New International Version (NIV).
[2] Nijay Gupta addresses female heads of household in the first century extensively in his book Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2023), especially 37-50, 87.
[3] By discussing “husbands” and “wives” in this article, I do not mean to imply marriage can only be between a man and a woman. Rather, I’m using the language used in the Bible and by Greco-Roman society for the sake of clarity.
[4] Shively T.J. Smith, Strangers to Family: Diaspora and 1 Peter’s Invention of God’s Household (Waco: Baylor University Press, 2016) http://site.ebrary.com/id/11292044, 72.
[5] Smith, Strangers, 73.
[6] Karen H. Jobes, 1 Peter, 2nd ed., Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2022), 206.
[7] Jobes, 1 Peter, 206-207.
[8] Jobes, 1 Peter, 206.
[9] Smith, Strangers, 79.
[10] Craig S. Keener, 1 Peter: A Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2021), 246.
[11] Janette H. Ok, “First Letter of Peter,” in The New Testament in Color: A Multiethnic Bible Commentary, ed. Esau McCaulley, Janette H. Ok, Osvaldo Padilla, Amy Peeler (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2024), 673.
[12] Smith, Strangers, 80.
